Ranting instead of sex

1. Go and check out the list of 101 Fun Things To Do (Besides Having Sex) (Blogging isn’t on the list?)

2. Check off what percentage of those you personally would rather do than have sex.

3. Tell me how you can make this case to teens without sounding hypocritical.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t think we should be hosting orgies for 12-year-olds. I think that this is among the tamer of efforts to preach abstinance, and the site clearly states “We’re not about saying sex is bad! It is great at the right time and stage in your adult life.” And, yes, kids are stupid and make all sorts of mistakes. But the pitch here is so hard to buy.

Do I really want to “visit a nursing home” instead of having sex? Let’s not forget that a former Republican candidate is encouraging the elderly to take drugs precisely so that they can avoid visiting the nursing home and have sex instead. Why should it be that our bodies know less about the “right time” for sex than our schools do?

I think it’s important to give children the means to make their own decisions, but that should apply far beyond the choice to engage in or abstain from sex. Schools instill conformity, and tend to discourage independent decision-making. Why, then, should it come as a shock that students give into “peer pressure” when they make decisions about drugs or sex.

As we go further into the site, we learn that “The best time to have sex is when you are an adult in a loving, committed, mutually faithful relationship with another adult person, which for most people is marriage.” Now, in principle, I have to say that I am very happy with this sort of sex. But, on the other hand, I suspect that this sort of sex represents the minority of the “best sex” that happens in America. It is also very much a matter of opinion, not medical fact, that this is “the best time” to have sex. Show me the stats: who have they surveyed to discover that this is the “best time”? Or is it the consensus of medical opinion that the “best sex” happens only between two people for the rest of their lives? “By practicing abstinence until marriage, you won’t have to worry about out-of-wedlock pregnancy, STDs and the other consequences of having sex.” You do have to worry about the blind leading the blind, and this is only a problem if you think of sex as anything other than a means of production… er, procreation.

It’s worth remembering that the leading cause of death among teens in the US is not sex, but car crashes. The only 100% guaranteed way to avoid the death and injuries caused by automobile accidents is to abstain from driving or being a passenger in a motor vehicle. Of course, there are things you can do to minimize such dangers, like wearing a seatbelt, or only driving when sober, but these are proven to be ineffective. Why aren’t we telling teens to abstain from driving? Why aren’t we funding such efforts around the world?

P.S. Does anyone know if this report, from the Heritage Foundation, has been checked with age as a confounding variable. I am not going to pay the $750 to do so, but someone should.

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  1. Posted 5/3/2004 at 9:38 pm | Permalink

    There isn’t anything on that list that I’d do over having sex. As a matter of fact, you would probably do a lot of those things and have sex at the same time!

  2. Kevin
    Posted 5/4/2004 at 2:58 pm | Permalink

    Hi Alex (and Mrs. Alex)
    You know, it occurs to me that it’s the combination of driving to an out of the way place and then having sex in the back seat that we have to worry about.

  3. Alex
    Posted 5/4/2004 at 9:19 pm | Permalink

    Ah, yes, the real reason for the popularity of SUVs. And Sam, yes, it seems like the list is tailor made for the old fortune cookie trick of adding “…in bed.”

One Trackback

  1. By Peter Van Dijck's Guide to Ease on 5/5/2004 at 12:52 pm

    Worth the Wait® | Teens | 101 Fun Things To Do (Besides Having Sex): “10. Play capture the flag. 19. Organize a bake sale or car wash in your neighborhood and donate the proceeds to a school or community project….

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