10 January Resolutions

I’m feeling particularly myopic lately, and it has nothing to do with my new eyeglasses (yay, flex spending account!). I feel singularly indisposed to offering a cool wrap-up of the year, or a prognosis of things to come. No top 10 lists or statistics. No, the most I can hope to think about right now is… January. So, without further ado, my January Resolutions.

1. Start nothing new

With the exception of the items to follow, I will start no project that cannot be completed the same day. Of course, I have some ongoing projects I need to take care of, and the Internet Research conference deadline is looming, but for the entire month, I will only work on projects I consider “outstanding.”

This means, as much as I hate to say it, no recording of my sister’s brilliant reworking of Iron Man: “I am Santa Clause,” and not actually trying any of the neat projects in Make Magazine.

2. Two new distance courses.

Not surprisingly, I’m well behind in planning for my two courses this semester, both of which will be distance courses. Almost all the materials–at least those I create–will be open access. My short audio “lectures” and other materials will be posted to the blog here. So, for January, I want a strong plan for each course, and a good launch mid-month. This is going to take up the greatest proportion of my time, I’m afraid.

3. See at least one play, watch at least three movies, and read at least one new novel.

I already have some of these lined up. I’ve ordered a used copy of Spook Country, and will see one of those films tomorrow morning.

4. Finish writing a book

Yes, I actually have started the book, to be published by Polity. It’s nearly done, but needs some revision in places. The book is called Search Engine Society and looks at the social place of search engines. It needs a bit more theoretical development and to draw in a more global perspective, as well as some other changes, which I hope to have finished–or nearly so–sometime around the end of the month.

5. Make progress on hire

We’re trying to hire a new colleague to teach in the Interactive Communication masters program. Hope to have visits scheduled and maybe even some completed by the end of the month.

6. Learn new manual skill

Yes, that’s a little obscure, but I have my reasons. I’ll be able to say more at the end of the month, I hope.

7. No more Digg.

Yes, have to quit something bad for me, and I’m afraid Digg is getting the old heave ho. I’ve just removed the gadget from my iGoogle page. The good stuff usually ends up (or comes from) BoingBoing anyway.

8. Do something about AoIR Wiki

I’ve managed to enlist others’ help on the major projects for AoIR, including the website redesign and the conference web. The wiki remains a target of spam, and is running a woefully out-of-date version of Mediawiki. After several attempts at updating to the current version, I’m thinking I will probably throw in the towel and spin off a new install (without the current accounts), but I want to see if I can transfer as much as possible. Then I hope to do some serious reformatting and weeding on the site.

9. Lose 10 pounds

This is here because it would be bad form not to include it in a list of resolutions. I lost a lot of weight last year, and gained nearly all of it back again. So, I suppose a more careful wording would be “Weigh 10 pounds less than today by the end of the month.” There are subsidiary goals here: more exercise, etc., but I’m already boring you.

10. There will be blog

Hope to get back to blogging a few times each week. That’s made much easier by the list above, which I will be blogging about. (Well, probably not as much about #5 or #6.) By January 31, I’ll see how well I’ve measured up to these.

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Happy Solstice!

May Your Solstice

The above was my automatic holidayomancy from the Worktank Holiday-O-Matic card generator. I was too slow to put together Christmas cards this year. I took some pictures in Central Park and Midtown on my way back from the dentist earlier this week, and I think I might be able to make a nice card out of one of those for next year.

Oh, and can I tell you how much I hate the phrase “happy holidays”? There isn’t a good reason for it. I wish we could just say “Happy Christmas” and be done with it. If someone says “Happy Hanukkah” to me, I certainly don’t find it insulting; I find it genuine. Anything would be better: “Killer Kwanzaa!” “Yauld Yule!” “Sultry Solstice!” “Bully Boxing Day!” “Gnarly New Year!” Just not “Happy Holidays,” OK? I suppose, as with all things, it will gradually become the norm, but I reserve the right to remain crotchety.

Thank you, and have a nice day.

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What long tail?

MS Trackball ExplorerThere has been a lot of talk lately about the long tail, and its effect on online retailing. Basically, the idea is that as the cost of inventory, advertising, and delivery come down, there is an incentive for online retailers to have very large inventories. This means that they can mine niche products, rather than only carrying the most popular items. In fact, for a store like Amazon, or like iTunes, a substantial proportion of their sales may come not from the items that are most popular, but from the deeper stock. Sure, they still sell U2 and Radiohead, but you can easily find slightly less popular acts, like Metric or SoKo. I was a bit surprised in my Christmas shopping to find that tail cut off.

The mastiff we live with likes a particular dog toy, manufactured by Fat Cat, Inc. It’s a large and fairly expensive stuffed kitty toy that flops around nicely when a dog shakes it. You’ve probably seen a version of these if you have been in a pet shop: either in the smallest size, or the larger 14 inch size. You may not have seen the giant size that measures over 22 inches, and is our dog’s favorite. Although they are expensive, in the long run they make sense for us because even though the dog is fairly gentle with them most of the time, he would generally destroy the smaller size in a couple of days, and the larger ones tend to stick around much longer. When we went to order them, we found that pretty much every retailer has them listed as “discontinued.” It’s possible we were the only ones buying these toys, but I doubt it. Had we known they would stop making them, we probably would have stockpiled some. As it is, I guess it’s time to start watching eBay. I’m sure we can find an alternative he’ll be happy with for Christmas, but he does love a new “baby.”

My partner asked for a trackball like the one I use on my computer so that she could use it for work. She’s impossible to shop for, and so I was relieved to have such an easy shopping task. She is talking about the Microsoft Trackball Explorer, the best pointing device I have ever used with a computer. Microsoft really got it right with this thing. Anyone who uses it for more than five minutes covets it. When I bought mine, I think I paid something like $40 for it, so–given how the hardware market works–I hoped I might be able to find a discount on it. Despite wide adoration, Microsoft no longer makes it, and no one has stepped in to clone it. As a result, scratched and abused used versions of the trackball routinely sell for $150 on eBay, and that price is likely to continue to rise. I have bid on some of the lower-priced used versions, but I don’t hold out much hope for actually winning one of these auctions.

Now, these are both probably niche products. The big dog toy is probably a novelty unless you have a dog the size of ours, and there aren’t very many of those in the world. Likewise, although it turns out my trackball is nearly a fetish item for some geeks, the vast majority of computer users will continue to be happy with their mice, and wouldn’t even consider trying a trackball. (Like I once did, they probably associate it with Missile Command and Atari Football.) So these two products are both residents of that long tail–a tail that may have reached online retailing, but doesn’t stand up well to the scaling needed for Chinese electronics manufacturing.

We can probably try to replicate the dog toy. We do have a sewing machine, and I guess we can try to draw faces on with a permanent marker or something. I don’t know when we’ll find the time to make dog toys, but at least it is in the realm of possibilities. The same cannot be said of the trackball. The obvious way to do this would be to track down the factory that made the device in China and get them to do a short run. Even though there are people willing to exorbitantly for the devices, however, I suspect that the market is actually pretty small and deep. Unlike a short run for a T-shirt design or a book, I suspect there must still be a mass market before a complex gadget like the one I am using at this moment can be reproduced efficiently.

In the meantime, if you see a Microsoft Trackball Explorer on the back shelf of a computer retailer somewhere, and it’s priced at retail or below, snap it up–eBay is waiting.

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Does Mitt Romney Hate Noodles?

Pater PastaI was watching my Sunday comedy program, which included an interview with Mitt Romney, who discussed his recent speech on “Freedom and Religion.” Romney said that America needed “morality and religion” though that religion was “of course, not a particular denomination.” Tim Russert questioned him on this, asking about whether atheists had a place in American government, and Romney admitted that it was possible, on a person-by-person basis, for an atheist to have a moral code (unlike the blanket morality of those in organized religion, one supposes). He went on to say that

the, the founders of the nation, coming from different faiths and different persuasions, nonetheless all believed that the, the creator was an instrumental part of the founding of this nation. And I believe that that part of history should be taught, I believe that we should recognize the divine with everything from celebrations in the town square, with menorahs and nativity scenes, as well as in our history books, talking about the fact that the creators did believe in a fundamental sense of, of the divine. And, and recognizing that that gives us a moral code, a suggestion of what is right and wrong, that is–that is, in many respects, unique in the world.

I have to assume that he would be open to other things showing up in the town square, including seasonal icons from latter day religious tradition.

And here, of course, I am speaking of Pastafarianism. While I am not devout, I was proud to be one of the founding members of the First Buffalo Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and yet, was chagrined to admit that I did not immediately know what would be appropriate to put alongside the menorah and nativity in the town square. Of course, in September I always celebrate the doctrinal Talk Like a Pirate Day, bringing a bit of diversity into the classroom in subtle ways, but can’t we follow in the footsteps of the popes, and bull ourselves a holiday to piggyback on Yule? I did some preliminary research, finding some information on Jólasveinarnir, The Yuletide Lads, and other alternative Santa Clauses, but no Pater Pasta. In the heartland, however, this battle is already in full force.

It’s bad enough that schools are banning our religious garb, it seems that universities are turning out to be equally bigoted when it comes to Pastafarian celebrations this time of year. Some students at Missouri State University attempted in a small way to celebrate the FSM:


The administration was not content, however, and has steadfastly refused reasonable requests by the active MSU Pastafarian community (including a large number of students and faculty) to celebrate the holidays with displays alongside other religious paraphernalia.

Meanwhile, at Michigan State, the MTU Pastifarians student group had threats posted on their door, resulting in a disciplinary hearing.

While I find little evidence of a “War on Christmas,” this seems to be a hard season to remain a devout follower of Its Noodly Appendage. A very happy holiday to you, however you choose to celebrate it, ramen.

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