a thaumaturgical compendium

I was looking over an earlier post about the the temperment of professors, and was reminded of the “Sixth Sally” in Stanislaw Lem’s Cyberiad:

“Listen here, you unmitigated freak,” yelled Trurl, throwing all caution to the winds, though Klapaucius kept elbowing him to show some restraint, “we have no gold, no silver, no precious stones, so you let us go this instant, and above all cover up that oversized physiognomy of yours, for it’s unspeakably hideous. And you” — he said, turning to Klapaucius — “stop jabbing me with that elbow! This is the way you have to talk to such types!”

“I have no use,” suddenly said the face, turning its thousand glittering eyes on Trurl, “for gold or silver, and the way you have to talk to me is delicately and with respect, as I am a pirate with a Ph.D., well-educated and by nature extremely high-strung. Other guests have been here and needed sweetening up — and when I’ve given you a proper pounding too, why, you’ll be positively dripping with good manners. My name is Pugg, I’m thirty arshins in every direction, and it’s true I rob, but in a manner that is modern and scientific, for I collect precious facts, genuine truths, priceless knowledge, and in general all information of value. And now, let’s hand it over, otherwise I whistle! Very well, I’ll count to five — one, two, three…”

I’ve always identified with Pugg, the pirate with a Ph.D. That’s probably why I spend much of my time trying to construct a “Demon of the Second Kind” for the web.

I sat at the back of one of plenary presentations yesterday at the MEA conference. It’s rare that I get to be behind students instead of in front of them. I am pretty used to the idea of students checking email during a lecture. It doesn’t bother me as much as it does some people. One of the students directly in front of me during the lecture was doodling, and his friend was first designing a Flash project, and then moved on to playing Everquest. Now, some might think that these more interactive processes would have sapped all of her attention, and thus it was a “bad thing” to do during a lecture.

I try to make my own lectures interesting and entertaining. And of course, I love the front two rows of my classes (I think everyone does), because they look ready to jump into the conversation, and often they do. But I am an extreme doodler. I never took great notes, but I have always doodled to keep myself from going nuts. So as I looked at this pair in front of me, I wondered whether the doodler or the gamer was more “distracted.”

And yes, you’ve probably at this point noted that I myself did not have my full attention on the speaker. His talk, by the way, was interesting–less, in my case, for the thesis, and more for the discussion, if that makes sense. He was talking about the role of rules as a way of organizing understanding vs. rules dictating behavior, and had much to say on the general topic of mind and society. And I did scribble some notes from his talk and from the questions afterwards. At the same time, I was watching the two students in front of me. I was also watching the tag-team ASL interpretters, who were far more animated (as the language encourages) than the speaker himself. I don’t know any ASL, and so it felt a bit like an interpretive dance, which was kind of interesting. At the same time, I was also outlining a paper I am putting together later this week. This feels a little bit like working in the middle of Times Square, only instead of ads, there are ideas. (Yes, ads can also be ideas, but so rarely are.)

There are times when I enjoy the quiet of my office and the one-on-one bond with my word processing program, and I do some of my most productive work in such conditions. But I do my best thinking in an environment in which there are a lot of novel ideas floating around, waiting to be snatched out of the air. I have a feeling that a lot of people treat a conference as a book, with a number of chapters worth working through. For me at least, it’s a lot more like walking through a crowded street, bumping into people I know or don’t know, ideas familiar and strange, and new ways of structuring the world.

I’m off (and late) to the Media Ecology Association Annual Convention. Since I am going computer-free, I won’t be blogging it. Kind of ironic, given that part of what I’ll be talking about is the intersection of conferences and blogs. If I use slides, I’ll use these. Not much there to go on, I know, but you get the idea.

At this point, many have already read Elena Lappin’s stomach-turning tale of being detained and deported for a criminal act of journalism. It seems that the Department of Homeland Security now considers British journalists dangerous. So, to recap: we are detaining journalists, professors, and clergy. War on terror, my ass! *We have declared a war on thinking.*

Why can’t we just go back to the way we were before, except with the addition of hardened cockpit doors. That was an appropriate response. I wrote once before about this: America needs to walk it off. Nothing would show our friends and enemies the strength of the United States better than saying “Damn, that stung; now we’re going to move on.” Or, get this, how about offering scholarships to students from Arab nations? That’s right, invite them in and treat them as guests. Can you imagine how sneaky that would be? Rather than attacking the hardened terrorist — clearly a wily character — we would attack the Arab world’s weakest point, young and impressionable students. We would show them the best America has to offer, and send them back as emissaries, and yes, as spies. Because they would return as friends of America; or if not that, friends of freedom and liberty.

Give visas to journalists (you know, like free democracies do). Heck, give visas to everybody. *What the hell are we doing turning back students from Morocco, Malaysia, and Egypt?* Are we that willing to give up freedom and liberty for all?!

*I want my country back.*

Now, I know what I would do, if I were able. When I came into the US, I would identify myself as an amateur journalist, as a blogger. Unfortunately, immigration largely leaves me alone.

Actually, as an aside, let me make clear that isn’t exactly the case. I live right on the Canadian border, and despite the fact that we give Canadians no special reason to love us, I am always made to feel welcome by Canadian immigration, and made to feel intimidated by US border guards. Why does being a prof make me a suspect? Someone has recently told me that I appear as though I could be Arab — and my name screams not-frum-round-here — but what’s with the hassle? It’s not like I’m accidently importing hand grenades.

OK, so it doesn’t seem fair to ask foreigners to foot the bill for this small act of civil disobedience. Let me see, how about a hypothetical way to raise consciousness about this? How about stickers that say something along the lines of what you see above? Heck you could even make them available at Café Press, or provide a pdf for folks to print.

Hypothetically, again, what if these were posted at national frontiers? Concerned folks could make sure fliers or postcards were left where travelers would find them. Or they could post stickers in helpful locations. I can’t imagine anyone could complain about informing our potential enemies about the newly enforced laws.

Of course, I recommend that we just stop thinking about it. Thinking about the end of liberties in the US is just too depressing, and is fundamentally anti-American. I’m ashamed the thought even crossed my mind.

I already made my prediction, but I guess the October Surprise is still up for grabs. Go and vote, it’s your civic duty. We can see whether collectivities do any good at predicting the future.

(I could add something silly here about the recent success rate of mass polling predicting the incoming president, but I won’t.)

“I’ve been studying history,” Peter said. “I’ve been learning things about patterns in human behavior. There are times when the world is rearranging itself, and at times like that, the right words can change the world…”

- Peter Wiggin in Ender’s Game, on why he is beginning to blog.

* Short but delightful flash narrative puzzle.

* While we’re at it: flash mini-golf, and flash railroad.

* House fabbing allows for the roboticized construction of concrete homes from an architect’s drawings.

* Creating agent-based -secre- administrative assistants.